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How to look good when you feel anything but good...
Haven’t we all had those days when you look at yourself in the mirror and think, what has life done to me? Your entire day is ruined. You want to look pretty but you are too tired to try and on the brink of giving up altogether? You’re overwhelmed and have so much other things going on that whatever you want becomes a distant fantasy?
Well, we all go through those days. Unfortunately. Even worse, many of us, women, seem to get stuck in that mentality for pretty much whole life once life seems to go anything but how you want it to be. Well, we don’t want to let that happen. Sometimes, we have to fight ourselves and our own demons. Other times, simple things can make life so much better and easier if we just take that first step. Of course, I am specifically talking about the things to make those awful days feel better and make you feel less like life is over.
Fast and easy makeup is only part of the solution and the easy first step
I know what you are going to say, duh, don’t we all know it. However, HOWEVER, there is make up and then there is make up. What I am trying to encourage you to do is not to look at it like it is make up BECAUSE then you won’t want to do it. I know, I am the same way. When I feel awful the last thing I want to do is anything that is related to some warpaint.
Nonetheless, it is almost universal among all women that when you put a little time into yourself, even a minute, psychologically you will start feeling like not everything is crashing down on your like a pile of bricks. You will get some sense of hope.
With that being said, if you never do make up even when you feel amazing, then maybe just spending a few minutes just brushing your hair longer and giving yourself that head massage while you are at it might do the trick for you. There is no right or wrong way. However, for most girls, pushing yourself to do that little step – something for yourself in the morning in front of the mirror – usually brightens up the day enough that you don’t feel like life is a pile of crap waiting to crash down on your like a ton of stinky bricks.
When your instinct tells you to fight doing anything nice for yourself, DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOURSELF.
I don’t know about you, but when I feel awful (trying to stay away from all the words we’re all thinking about), and someone tells me to put some make up on or do a foot massage or WHATEVER it might be for myself, my first instinct is to fight it. As if I don’t want to feel better. OF COURSE I DO! But haven’t you noticed that we tend to do that? Tend to almost deny ourselves the very things that will make us feel better?
I know I do that. Luckily, when I caught myself doing it, I paused, and analyzed it. I tried to make sense of it. It didn’t happen first, fifth, or even a hundredth time I felt the deny-myself urge. Somewhere in the thousandths I stopped myself and realized what I was doing – denying myself something that will make me at least feel somewhat better.
So when you hear me tell you to slap some quick and easy make up on, and if you get that deny-yourself urge, try to pause and analyze the feeling. Why would you not want to? Is it because you are stubborn and want to keep yourself sulking even if it kills you? If so, then try to overcome that evil-negative feeling and go ahead and slap some make up on, do your hair quickly so that when you look at yourself in the mirror after you spent 5 minutes at it, you might get a sense of hope, a sense of not everything being lost.
The phrase "You Deserve It" means nothing anymore. But try to remember that it is true. You DO deserve to treat yourself no matter what life throws at you.
Unfortunately, such powerful and meaningful phrases as “you deserve it” have become so meaningless and almost annoying. I blame all that media usage for every beauty product out there (if you need someone to blame for such a good phrase meaning nothing nowadays, blame the beauty industry. They make everything seem shallow and unattainable.)
But, yes, it is true. You DO deserve to treat yourself with kindness, love, humility and patience. You DO deserve to treat yourself well. Nest time you read that stupid shampoo label or watch a stupid shallow beauty commercial where they use something so meaningful as “you deserve it” in such a shallow and revolting way – tell yourself that you DO deserve it. Just not in a shallow objectified way.
You deserve to be treated like a decent human being – AND BY YOURSELF, TOO. Not just from others, BUT FROM YOURSELF. Treat yourself as you would treat others that need help. Sometimes we are so good at treating everyone else better than ourselves. Well, it is time to start working on treating yourself better, too.
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself it will be a good day no matter what.
OK, another one of those things that sounds absolutely annoying and stupid, especially when you are angry and are having a bad morning and a bad day. However, studies have shown over and over again that a habit develops in about 3 weeks. That means, if you want to start a diet, stick with it for three weeks after which it will become easy and you won’t notice that you’re on a diet.
IF you are prone to having bad days or are just going through a rough time that keeps tilting you into the negative force (star wars pun intended), then start a little morning routine where you spend just a couple of minutes, or seconds in front of the mirror telling yourself that your day will be good, that you will be in control of your emotions and not let your emotions control you. That you will make it through the day with a smile no matter what happens.
These little mantras are actually developing a habit. A POWERFUL HABIT of thinking positively and not negatively. It is helping you to build a positive habit in a time of crisis or a time of difficulty when all you want to do is just give into your negative day to day feelings and emotions. Well, guess what, sister, by the time the bad times are past, you will have developed the bad mood and bad attitude habit. And you will have to spend time breaking it. Better not start it at all in the first place.
Smile... yes, actually force yourself to smile
Another one of those that you hear everywhere but it is starting to sound like a blank, meaningless phrase because it is so overused and no one really explains as to why you should bother in the first place when all you want to do is frown.
Well, turns out, that you use more muscles when you frown than when you smile. Meaning, it takes a whole lot more work for you to frown. Not only that, but you are also developing a habit. ON TOP OF THAT – it is proven by science that when you smile even when you feel bad, your brain sends happy chemicals your way so that you are actually tricking yourself into feeling better. When you frown, your brain sends negative emotions and responses your way so you actually can make yourself feel sad even if you are not sad just by starting to frown. Try it, you will see that it works.
LESSON: Just force yourself to smile when all you want to do is to keep frowning and wallowing in your misery. I know, we all do that. You just want to get things right and nothing happens, so you’re going to make life harder on yourself and everything else by not letting go of those negative emotions. Well, it is hard work, but let them go. Don’t focus on anyone else. Focus on trying to make yourself feel better.
If nothing else, when you feel better those around you will have a chance to relax. If you are like me and don’t know how to stop taking care of others, then this is a good starting point for you. If you are good at setting a time off from everyone so that you can take care of yourself, then you are already a mile stone ahead of us all. Just keep doing what works and share your knowledge with us! (leave commends below, guys. I love to read them and communicate with you that way.)